Sometimes it takes a ‘No’ to know your ‘Yes.’
The word ‘no’ is very powerful in creating the life we most desire. A key part of this journey is giving yourself permission to say no. Are you willing to give your no a voice? You could be thinking ‘no’ all day long but if you do not give your ‘no’ a voice, then you are essentially going around saying yes to what you don’t want.
Do you often say yes in the following situations:
-even when you feel overwhelmed?
-when the voice inside says no?
-when your gut says no?
-because you feel guilty?
-because you don’t want people to think you are selfish?
Most people have some resistance to saying no. I have met many people that have been raised to think that “Helpfulness is next to Godliness.” Being helpful truly is a gift, but only when it is not depleting you. When I am deciding between a yes or no, I check in with my gut instincts. If there is wincing and whining in the voice in my head, I know it’s guilt and that means that ‘no’ would be my best answer.
I am a huge advocate for self-honouring choices. Our ability to say no can be a powerful way to honour yourself. It all starts with a willingness. Are you willing to say no? If your answer is Yes, you’re more than halfway there! Use these affirmations to set your intention:
-I give myself permission to say no.
-I honour myself by voicing my no.
-I lovingly set boundaries that allow me to feel freer.
Repeat these in the mirror or write them in a journal. I recommend you do this for 33 days to build your habit muscle. The word no doesn’t always have to come out as a no. Here are some ways of saying no that will help you get comfortable with expressing your intention.
-Here’s what I can do…
-Not right now.
-I can’t right now
-That doesn’t work for me.
As with everything, practice is essential. A great way to practice saying no is by writing your response ahead of time in your journal, or reviewing what you will say in your mind or out loud in front of a mirror. Give yourself praise for each ‘no’ that you voice. This is all part of living the life you want to live! Practicing your ‘no’ on the smaller things will lead to grounded and solid ‘no’s’ on the important things. It is not always easy to say no, but it is empowering. You will feel liberated, just remember to be gentle with yourself along the way. You give the world a gift when you step out more aligned with your authentic self.
Luann is a Certified Heal Your Life Teacher and Spiritual Life Coach. You can find Luann on her Youtube channel entitled Luann’s Corner – Sitting with Spirit https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtkXQymmYoJNUj7tkFbp87w or follow her blog on her website healingwaves.life. Luann lives in Hermosa Beach with her husband and son where she loves spotting sand dollars and dolphins, hiking and practicing Kundalini yoga.
Written for the June edition of the Heal Your Life Newsletter